Vivre Sa Vie - Jean Luc Godard (1962)
I was trying to watch this but even with headphones on and doors closed etc. the howling and vociferation of the caveman and cavewoman in the other part of the house was constantly breaking my concentration on the film. I couldn’t get more than 15 minutes in.
That’s why I resorted to more drastic measures.
Until a more auspicious day, Anna.
It’s always when you’re with someone that you’re not with them…and vice versa.
Nothing confuses me more than the times when I’m looking forward to seeing someone so much, I think about her constantly, I can’t wait to see her, the longing consumes me…and then we are together and it’s like it’s no big deal, we just talk to each other and we play our parts—we connect, sure, but not at the deep level I built up in my mind. It’s like, now that we are together we suddenly can’t see each other, we see only our ideas and our selves that we are trying to project.
There are a million blocks in our way; when we are apart we can rise above the blocks as if they do not exist, but in each other’s presence we can not dream of breaking through them; they are so ubiquitous that we forget they are there, and we wonder why this isn’t what we expected. It’s too real, we are too scared, we need to protect ourselves. And then the minute we part, the old longing sets in, there is no fear, and we are truly together again. Oh yeah, that was it!..but it’s too late by then.
Apart, we know exactly how we feel; together, sitting next to one another, it is all terrifyingly uncertain.
How exhausting.
