First world problems
Driving to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night, don’t have iPod, relying on the radio, going through my classic rock/oldies pre-sets:
97.1 - playing the Eagles *nope*
106.7 - playing the Eagles *dammit, no*
98.5 - playing the Eagles *god dammit I said no*
92.3 - playing Patsy Cline *hell yes!*
First World Problems of the Day: Of all the white whiners in the entire white whining world, up-and-coming frat star Lance Diamond, son of world-famous corporate lawyer Greg Diamond, stands alone.
[reddit.]
Lance Diamond, I’m not saying I’m going to sue you but I’m just saying I could. Watching your video made me laugh so hard that I started crying. I’m not tryin to look like a pussy in front of my bros when they see tears running down my face, so I had to stay locked up in my room for more than an hour. I had to chill on facebook and Xbox—the whole time. I nearly starved to death, but thankfully I had a rice cake sitting around uneaten so I managed to survive. But you ruined my chance to grab lunch with my bros at McDonalds.
One of my bros was gonna buy me an order of McChickens because I did him a solid the other day, but because of you I missed out on the McChickens—let’s be real: do you understand how much I love McChickens? They make them shits out of magical chickens! I blame you for that one. You’ve stolen precious time and McChickens from me that I will never get back. Way to mess it up. I don’t want to hear your excuses. You’ve ruined—ruined—my life.
So yes, point in case being, I would like some compensation. I don’t want to make any threats, but all I’m saying is I want you to put a warning before this video to warn people that they may have uncontrollable laughing fits, and I want to have my signature on the warning so that people know it’s me who’s saving their lives. You better listen. Go Dawgs, baby.
