Sarah hates bluegrass with a passion (and I am a long-winded texter)
Me: [text to Sarah] Hey! 92.3FM is doing Sunday Night Bluegrass! I thought you'd be interested in knowing about it. How else would you get any enjoyment from NOT listening to it? Just think of all the things you already aren't doing, but from which you're getting no joy because you don't know you aren't doing them!
Sarah: ...
Sarah: ...so everyone just ended up voting for a bunch of assholes that don't give a fuck about them.
Me: Wait, I think you just summed up every election ever.
Sarah: Hey Ryan, don't let me forget my bread...or my kale.
Me: Okay.
(30 seconds pass)
Me: Hey Sarah, um, don't let me forget to remind you to get your bread and your kale.
Sarah: Sure, no prob.
Someone broke into my friend Ryan Wilson’s house AGAIN. That is complete bullshit and if I wasn’t on tour in Greensboro right now I’d be combing the streets of Athens hunting down the perp!
Instead here is a picture illustrating what I think of the dickhole that did the burgling.
I’m sorry Ryan Wilson, Mat and I send you Internet bro hugs.
Eating a dick is exactly what this/these dickhole(s) should be doing right now.
Thanks for your support, Internet bros.
